Meditation in the Forest in Thailand: The Life of a Buddhist Monk

Meditation in the Forest in Thailand is a chapter from my E-Book: Buddhist Monk Saved by Jesus. You can download it for free on my Home page ⟶ Buddhist Monk Saved by Jesus

Arriving at the Forest Caves for Meditation Retreat

Meditation in the forest in Thailand took me to a place that my friend monk Tom knew very good, there were also two caves. Monks rarely went there, so I immediately decided to go. My teacher Samuki smiled and said, “Good, you go ahead if you want.” So I went with Tom and a younger boy from the monastery.

On the way, we stopped at Tom’s family home. Then we walked along a stream and climbed steeply up a hill into the forest, six kilometers from the village. The place was beautiful—I had never seen anything like it. In the rocks, there were huge imprints of feet and hands. Following a long wooden staircase up the rock, we reached a covered but open wooden hall with Buddha statues and huge candles. Nearby were large rainwater collectors and hanging bags of rice for cooking, even though according to the rules, monks are not supposed to cook food.

We looked at both caves. The first was very dark; the second was more suitable for meditation and sleeping over night. We cleaned it and set up a hammock on a wooden platform, which served for meditation and sleeping. There were also a lot of bat droppings. Tom and the boy returned to the monastery before sunset.

At first, I lived in the larger covered hall. I felt good, especially meditating at night by the candles and Buddha statues. I meditated while sitting in a hammock as protection against the mosquitoes, which was suspended over an umbrella tied to the ceiling. Then I walked back and forth, maintaining concentration.

In the mornings, I cooked my food, and during the day I meditated in the cave. Weeks passed in which I was completely alone in the middle of the forest. Deep and prolonged states of calm increasingly appeared.

The Empty State of Mind

One evening, I drank coffee and decide to meditate. I focused all my energy on not following any thought. It was a fierce battle in the mind. After an hour, the thoughts no longer appeared. I stayed long in the night in a luminous spiritual state, without thinking. At one moment, I realized that it was possible to do everything without thinking. For a moment I was worried— what if thoughts never return? The next morning, it was the same.

Just as I was heading to the cave, I heard voices. A guide had come with a tourist. I wanted to avoid them, knowing that even a short conversation would disrupt the empty state of mind. They looked at me in astonishment, as if wondering what a foreign monk is doing alone in the forest. Indeed, even a brief conversation was enough for my thoughts to return.

Soon, a monk arrived for ten days, and sometimes someone came just for a short visit. I decided to stay in the cave for a month. It was a cold season for meditation in the forest in Thailand.

In the cave, I began seeing faces of monks on the rocks and in the sand in front of me. Some were Thai, others resembled Chinese and Korean. The longer I remained in emptiness, the bigger their smiles, and the whole space radiated light. I swept the floor and then, while sitting, again saw the same faces on the sand on the floor.

At night, I lit a fire. Bats flew in and out while I watched the flames in a state of emptiness. One night, I went up to the hall. After meditating, I lay down a bit and observed the candles and statues of Buddhas. In sleep, I felt myself floating in the air. I saw nothing, yet knew I was outside the body. I became frightened and tried to wake up, but could not until I returned.

Seeing Spirits for the First Time

An older woman appeared before me, and a young girl beside of her. It was the first time I had seen spirits, so clearly that it felt like I was looking at a person. They were both in long white robes with long black hair. The woman was kind and asked me for my name in English. It seemed like they had lifted me out of my body. I remembered the nun’s story about how a spirit would visit her at night, take her by the hand, and guide her around while her body laid in the kuti.

When they disappeared, I fell asleep again. I felt something again. My spiritual body turned to one side while my physical body laid on the other. I saw a younger woman, she holded my hand and told me not to forget her. Then she vanished. The next day, I thought about it. I believed these spiritual experiences were something good, and I hoped it would happen again—but it did not while I stayed there. Only once did I wake up at night in the cave, sensing spirits throughout my body, though I did not see them.

Fasting and Meditation

For a month, I ate only once a day—a very small portion of rice with noodles. I meditated about twelve hours a day, mostly sitting, only about an hour walking. After the morning meal, I would lie on a rock in the sun and rest in emptiness. I became very thin, walked slowly, almost without energy, but I was not hungry. Mentally, I was nearly always in very calm and luminous states. While lying in the sun, I did not feel my body—there was only light. I believed I was making good progress in meditation.

Occasionally, Tom or someone else would visit and bring me some food. Sometimes I felt boredom, physically weakness, and the desire to continue in meditation in the forest in Thailand waned. For a few days, I went to monasteries in nearby villages, then returned. I met some monks. One had a proper library, but only books in Thai. I asked him to send me something in English even though I was not interested in reading.

Returning to the Monastery

After three months, I decided not to continue my retreat in the forest. I returned to luang phor Samuki. Physically, I did not feel well, had lost motivation, and was disappointed. Upon my arrival, Samuki smiled as always and said everything was fine. They told me that he had meditated for ten years in the forest and caves until he was invited to the town Mae La Noi, where a monastery was built for him. Only there did he open spiritually. I saw that he felt neither cold nor heat and slept almost nothing. When I meditated close to him, I felt his strong spiritual energy. I often saw that he was in deep spiritual states, nearly always in emptiness. It was similar with the nun, who had long been serving him by preparing his meals.

Tom and I talked about spirits. I told him that during one retreat I had felt a blockage in my chest. I knew it was caused by spirits, but the next day, after a full day of meditation, it disappeared. Tom said that spirits can cause difficulties but can also help to progress on the spiritual path. I was also reading about this in the library in Dhamma Giri. It is good to send them loving thoughts and share your merit with them.

The first year of monastic life passed. I was grateful and satisfied with everything that had happened. I believed I would reach liberation and find out the truth of all this if I continued on this path.

With Samuki, Tom, and the layman Manut, we set out for the Udom Sab monastery, because I needed to extend my visa. We left in the morning, and in the afternoon Manut was tired from the journey, so we stopped Samuki’s friend. That evening, Samuki drove through the night until morning while the rest of us slept.

Upon arrival, all the monks and nuns came to greet him and pay their respects. He smoked a few cigars, spoke with them, and then they left. That was when I realized that Samaki was never tired. His mind was always in impartiality, without thought or emotion. In the spiritual states that I had only for a few hours, he had lived for decades.

I had not yet fully recovered. I was without energy, helping to work a little in the monastery, spoke with monks, and meditated much less. I no longer knew how to move forward. Meditation in the forest in Thailand brought me unforgettable experiences.

A New Teaching Changes my Path

Then I received a package in the mail. The monk I had asked for books sent me recorded talks and two booklets in English by teacher Posri Suriya Khemarato from the Rombodhidharma monastery. I had never heard of him before. His knowledge was different from the usual Theravada Thai tradition of Buddhism.

As I read and listened, all the burdens from striving in concentration practice fell away. I had often been in an empty state without thought, but desires for progress would always return, causing tension. I began to laugh at understanding the teachings of this teacher.

I immediately decided to go to him. His teaching was truly different, yet it made deep sense. Just listening brought freedom to the mind, here and now, without strenuous meditation. I found his monastery and could no longer wait. I went to him—convinced that I will realize the truth about liberation there.